From: George W.Bush To: netnews@synflood.at Reply-To: GWB@whitehouse.gov Subject: How I stole your election (ha ha ha ha!!!) Date: Tue, 09 Nov 2004 10:31:47 -0800 This is a multi-part message in MIME format --d844578a-7f81-44ae-aaec-d89eac3c4a39 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable How I Stole Your Election by George W. Bush The first thing I did to steal your election was to make friends with ALL the = manufacturers and code-verifyers of the Electronic Voting Machines. They = were really nice, especially Diebold who gave me $600,000 for my campaign. = Wow, thanks dude! http://nuclearfree.lynx.co.nz/stealing.htm Next, I had my attack dog, Karl Rove, convince these companies to either = alter the vote totals on the central tabulator machines (simple PCs running = windows using Remote Access Server -- RAS), or reprogram (via a downloadable = software patch) the voting machines themselves so that they would give the = advantage to ME! Isn't America great?!? A little money and some religious = zealotry goes a looooong, loooong way. Oh, the religious zealotry thing? = That's just a cover. I'm not really a Christian -- or at least I don't act = like one. Anyway, I digress. http://www.ejfi.org/Voting/Voting-25.htm#rig Did you ever hear the media complaining about how inaccurate the exit polls = were in prior elections? No. That's because they basically ARE accurate. = But this election, the exit polls showed Kerry WAY ahead. No problem. My = buddies rigged the machines (and all they needed to do was rig it in one = state, Ohio, but they took care of at least Florida for me too) not only to = make me squeak by in the important battleground states, like Florida and = Ohio, but they also made sure that when I did get a state that I was expected = to win, the margin was HUGE so that my "popular" vote would make it look like = I had a mandate. So let's recap how the popular vote thing worked again. Let's say we didn't = want it to look suspicious by taking states that Kerry really would have won = (except for Ohio and Florida, gotta take those! heh heh). So we let him win = there, but in order once again to boost the "popular" vote (I put that in = quotes because as you know, I'm not REALLY popular), we bring my vote tallies = RIGHT UP NEXT to Kerry's, to jack up the "popular" vote as much as possible, = even if I didn't win the state. Then, with states like North Carolina, we know we're going to steal the state = anyway (at least according to what the exit polls were telling everyone.... = and according to the long, long lines of new voters were telling everyone = ... because we all know most of those people were voting for Kerry, not the = status quo), so we just jack the crap out of the vote total to REALLY stuff a = crapload of "popular" votes in my pocket. You see, this way I can get on the = TV and declare that I have a "mandate" and that I'm going to "cash in" on my = political "capital" (which I don't really have of course, but we made it look = that way). Here's a nice chart to show you what I mean. Take special note of how the = electronic voting machine totals compare to the paper ballot totals. And see = what I mean about North Carolina? http://www.bandsagainstbush.org/cgi-bin/archives/exit_poll.gif Look folks, if you really want me out of office, first you're going to have = to impeach me. But you know what, if you don't have verifiable paper trails = at the polls like these folks recommend ( http://openvotingconsortium.org/ ), = and if you don't take these voting machines out of the hands of private = companies that are aligned with one end of the political spectrum, then I'm = gonna just continue to hose you (and then my brother Jeb will be president = too cause we're into this dynasty thing, kind of like my buddies the = Saudis... ain't it cool?!?). Also, in 2006, we're going to steal about five = more senate seats, and then we'll have the "super-majority". That means the = Democrats can't do that confounded fillerbs... fillas.... fillbusters.... = CRAP, well, they can't get in the darn way any more and we can pass ANY laws = we want about ANYTHING and put whoever we want on the Supreme court. Ha ha, = then you're REALLY screwed. So if you don't fix this mess (I mean great = system) in two years and have a verifiable voting system nationwide, America = is MINE!!!!! (and Jeb's and my daddy's and Cheney's and Rove's... hey, we = could even pass a law saying I could be president for FOUR MORE YEARS after = 2008! That would be SOOO cool!) Anyway, I digress once again. Here's one of my favorite sites: http://www.nogw.com/electionfraud.html And that pesky Bev Harris. Man I wish she would go away. If too many of you = contribute to her cause, I might just get in trouble so KNOCK IT OFF!! http://www.blackboxvoting.org/ I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Fool me once.....", oh CRAP, I = forgot again. Well how about this? "This would be a heck of lot easier if = this was [grammar incorrect] a dictatorship.... just so long as I'm the = dictator. Heh, heh." Well, sorry to say folks, but I got my way. What are = you gonna do about it, huh? Bring it on!!! http://votergate.tv/votergate/votergatethemovie_64kb.mov "Sincerely" Yours, "President" George W. Bush P.S. Pass it on! I dare ya. --d844578a-7f81-44ae-aaec-d89eac3c4a39--